Your buying carbon offfset credits permit Al to live in the manner he has grown accustomed and still hunt the manbearpig.
Think you don't have enough money to buy Honest Al's Carbon Offset Credits? Think again!
- $50 - Honest Al not open a six-pack of 7-Up and let it go flat thereby releasing who knows how much CO2 which would otherwise be safely sequestered.
- $25 - Honest Al will tell other people how to live their lives.
- $10 - Big Al will hold his breath for as long as he can without turning purple or fainting
- $5 - Honest Al will bag his poo and sequester it.
Otherwise you are evil. Pure evil. Every single time you exhale you emit carbon.
There is proof that carbon emissions are linked to increased manbearpig. 2000 years ago there was the the one half man and the one half bull. Today, there is manbearpig. Things are getting way worse! Only a fool would question the sciencey-ness of this proof.